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Sins against Marriage and purity

Sins against Marriage and Holy Purity

The 6th and 9th Commandments

What are the 6th and 9th commandments?

The Sixth Commandment is, “You shall not commit adultery.”

The Ninth Commandment is, “You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife”

They both relate to similar topics against holy purity and marriage.

Who gave us the Ten Commandments?

God gave the Ten Commandments to Moses on Mount Sinai.

Do we have to follow the Ten Commandments?

Yes we do. We all have to, in order to enter Heaven. Our Lord said, “If you love Me, you will keep My commandments.” (St John 14:15)

What if you break one of the Ten Commandments in a serious way?

Jesus tells us to confess our sins to a priest for forgiveness. It is good to make a habit of going to Confession at least once a month (every 2 weeks is better) and to have a devotion to the Mother of God. Mortal Sins have to be confessed before going to Holy Communion. To receive the Eucharist while in state of mortal sin is a mortal sin of sacrilege. If you honestly did not know this, then you are not guilty of a formal mortal sin; it would be a venial sin. However, once you know something is a serious mortal sin, to perform that action would be committing a mortal sin.

What is Mortal Sin and what is the effect of Mortal Sin? What is a Venial Sin?

SIN. A sin is any wilful thought, word, deed or omission against the law of God.

Mortal Sin. Mortal or grave sin is any serious violation of the Law of God. It is the choice of an inferior good in place of God and His friendship, and thus destroys grace and charity in the soul. It is called “serious” or “grave” because of its gravity; it is called “mortal” because it is deadly, and kills the divine life within the soul.

Three conditions must be met for a sin to be mortal: grave matter, full knowledge, deliberate consent. Dying in a state of mortal sin will lead one to Hell. A very scary thing mortal sin is, that is why Jesus instituted the Sacrament of Penance (Confession) and why we should make a holy habit of going regularly.

Venial Sin. A venial sin is a minor violation of the Commandments, or a failure to meet the requirements of God’s law in a less serious matter, or a major transgression but without full knowledge or consent. “Venial” means “pardonable”. It does not deprive of grace, but does weaken charity. Scripture distinguishes between mortal and venial sin: “All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin which is not mortal.” (1 John 5:17)

What if I keep committing the same sin?

Till the day we die, we are going to be committing sin; but we must honestly try and seek help from a good spiritual director, e.g. a Priest or a practising Catholic, etc. We must not give up and we should focus on conquering our sins in patience and in hope, even if it takes us our whole life to do so. Remember, Scripture says a just man falls 7 times a day. Devotion to Our Lady certainly helps us in saying no to sin. Pray the rosary and get enrolled in the scapular.

What does God command us in the 6th commandment?

God commands us to honour and respect marriage which is a Sacrament by being chaste and pure in word and actions. Being married means being in love with your spouse as Jesus is with the Church. Couples can also sin against one another by treating each other just as objects for sexual gratification outside of love. We must look upon our wives and husbands with proper love and respect. It also commands couples to be open to children and avoid contraception. It is unfortunate that a number of couples and people are hostile to the Church about this very issue. It is the teaching of Our Lord Jesus Christ that one is hostile to, as He established the Catholic Church to teach and spread His teachings.

This commandment also forbids second marriages outside church (or even a first marriage outside a church), de facto relationships (boyfriends and girlfriends living together as if they were married: cohabitation).

Other sins forbidden by this commandment are: adultery, sex before marriage (fornication), pornographic magazines, pornographic internet websites, masturbation, groping, dirty dancing, reading sexually explicit material in girly magazines and getting strippers at Bucks parties. Also homosexual acts are sinful, as is incest. Passionate kissing between teenagers is definitely a no! It is safest and wise to leave such activity to those who are married where it takes place within the context of love!

Also avoid short clothing and wearing clothing so tight that it looks like it has been spray painted onto your body, revealing too much skin, and avoid getting drunk.

Other sins against the 6th Commandment: telling dirty jokes, messaging or emailing pornographic jokes, pictures, etc. When your friends say or tell dirty jokes or stories do you walk away? Tell them to stop it?

Sometimes it is difficult as it might seem ‘normal’ for people to commit this sin. Take no part in games that promote sexual sins with questions that dare you to perform something sinful. Remember we are temples of the Holy Spirit! Would you talk dirty or tell a bad sinful joke to Jesus if HE were with you? Well, Jesus is with us everywhere. Try to remember that.

Perhaps some people reading this article of questions and answers might see these commandments as a list of No’s and curbing our freedom. Take this for an example: imagine you and a friend are touring Australia driving along some pretty dangerous roads that have steep hills, small roads, bends, etc. Your friend tells you that he is sick of the warning signs and danger signs and that he is not going to obey them; would you agree with him? Would you let him drive you around anywhere? The point is this: God’s laws are there to help us live holy lives and to attain Heaven, our true holy land, and not to run off the rails.

What does God command us in the 9th commandment?

“You shall not covet your neighbour’s wife.” What does this mean?

You cannot desire your neighbour’s wife in an evil way. Adultery is forbidden in action as well as in deliberately fostered desire. A temptation or feeling is not a sin, but choosing to entertain the temptation deliberately or to act it out, is a sin. Forbidden is any impurity towards your neighbour. Immodesty, the opposite of modesty, is a sin against ourselves and against the opposite sex. One must be modest in word, actions, dress and our bodies. Parading oneself through nudity or exposure of too much skin through skimpy clothing is a sin against modesty and decency.

Watching reality T.V. shows, that show and promote shamelessness and nudity, etc., although popular with some people, is degrading, and is a sin against modesty and respect. Would you like someone to look through your window while asleep or having breakfast or changing your clothing? Well reality T.V. is one big window where people expose themselves for fun and for money. Such shows have made viewers Peeping Toms.

Here is what Jesus says about adultery: “Everyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” (St Matthew 5:28)

Also, the Catechism of the Catholic Church (a book you should familiarise yourself with) says the following on modesty in paragraphs 2521-2525:

2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate centre of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

2523 There is modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.

2524 The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man. It is born with the awakening consciousness of being a subject. Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.

2525 Christian purity requires a purification of the social climate. It requires of the communications media that their presentations show concern for respect and restraint. Purity of heart brings freedom from widespread eroticism and avoids entertainment inclined to voyeurism and illusion. ________________________________________________________________

Did you know that Blessed Jacinta, to whom Our Lady appeared at Fatima in Portugal in 1917, said that more souls go to Hell because of sins against purity than any other sin? Something to think about!

Some wise tips to help you on the road of purity:

1. Pray morning and night. Prayer is the key to stay pure and to increase in love of God.

2. Attend Mass every week. Do not be like those who attend Mass only at Easter and Christmas.

3. Receive the Eucharist in a state of grace (no mortal sin on you).

4. Have a devotion to Mary who is sinless (pray three Hail Mary’s both in the morning and night in honour of her purity) or any prayer in honour of Mary’s purity.

5. Practise self-denial; for example, instead of having your favourite chocolate, have another type of food or type of chocolate. Practising self-control helps one to say no to sin.

6. Avoid all situations where you would face temptations against purity.

7. Avoid persons who are ‘into’ the scene of sinning against purity.

8. Avoid bad magazines, impure T.V shows, movies, Pay TV, shameful websites and any romance books that contain explicit sexual language.

9. Dress respectfully; seek out jeans that don’t slip off your body and avoid low tops that reveal your cleavage and also avoid showing your stomach and back to the whole world. Even at the beach you can wear some long shirts to cover up while not swimming.

10. Remember, when you dress modestly and respectfully you send out the message that you love Jesus and love purity and that you are not some sexual object.

11. Don’t tell dirty jokes, don’t send or email dirty jokes, pictures or movies to people. If you receive them, delete them and kindly ask that person not to send you sinful material.

12. Don’t be afraid to practise purity and don’t feel guilty that you’re not ‘part’ of a group of girls or boys who are committing these sins. Pray for their conversion away from these sins.

13. Before you leave home to go to a party or some social scene, ask Our Lady, Mary, to guard you from sins of impurity.

14. Don’t think you have to have a boyfriend or girlfriend at school age in order to be normal. At a young age, your main focus should be God, your family, school work, good friends and healthy hobbies.

15. Just because a boy or young man tells you that he loves you and cares for you, doesn’t mean that you should sin with him. If he really cares for you, he will respect you by being pure with you.